Subscribe    to     Newsletter
Google


Salary Meter
Resume Zap
Ask The Experts

  
Books
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer
DATING DIAPERS AND DENIAL
YOU CAN WIN
Ready for Anything: 52 Productivity Principles for Work & Life
The No A****** Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn't
Go Put Your Strengths to Work: 6 Powerful Steps to Achieve Outstanding Performance
Winning: The Answers - Confronting 74 of the Toughest Questions in Business Today
Know How: The 8 skills that separate people who perform from those who don't
Made To Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die
Blink: The Power of Thinking without Thinking
The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable
The Power of Nice: How to Conquer the Business World with Kindness
iWoz: From Computer Geek to Cult Icon: How I Invented the Personal Computer, Co-Founded Apple, and Had Fun Doing It
An Inconvenient Truth
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart Presents America (The Book): A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction
Tough Choices: A Memoir
A Hand to Guide Me
Secrets of the Millionaire Mind
Rich Dad, Poor Dad
Teacher man: A Memoir
Cat O'Nine Tales
Partners in crime
Marley and Me
Freakonomics
The World Is Flat
Screw it, let's do it
Phishing : Cutting the Identity Theft Line
Manager's Guide to the Sarbanes Oxley Act
Security and Usability
THE SEA
Great Age Guides
Seeing What's Next
Blue Ocean Strategy
Follow This Path
The GE Work-out: How to Implement GE's Revolutionary Method for Busting Bureaucracy and Attacking Organizational Problems-Fast!
Sack The CEO
Competing for the Future
The 80/20 Principle: The Secret to Success by Achieving More with Less
Bringing out the best in people
A Practical Guide to Easing Tension and Conquering Stress
Working relationships : The simple truth about getting along with friends and foes at work
101 Great Answers to the Toughest Interview Questions
Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap.. and Others Don't
Competitive Advantage (The profitability differentiator)
Competing for the Future (Blueprint for the future)
Digital Capital
Pipe Dreams (Greed, Ego and Death of Enron)
A Good Hard Kick in the Ass (New rules of business)
What the CEO Wants You to Know (Explicating the building blocks of business)
It's Not the Big that Eat the Small...It's the Fast that Eat the Slow (Reaffirms credo of Business@the speed of thought)
My Forbidden Face by Latifa (Tragedy of women in Taliban's reign of terror)
Big Brands Big Trouble (Jack Trout studies common mistakes of big brands)
No Logo (Crusade that announced death on the brand bullies)
My Pedagogic Creed (John Dewey's famous declaration concerning education)
Lexus and the Olive Tree (Anti-globalization is a search for the Sixties high)
A woman is made not born (Beauvoir's radical statement led to the second feminist movement)
Against Method(Outline of an anarchistic theory of science)
The Structure of Scientific Revolutions (A paradigmatic work that changed the history of science forever)
The Dilbert Future
(Scott Adams applies his trenchant wit to forecast life in 21st century)
Swimming Across
(Intel chairman Andy Grove's journey to freedom)
Dot Bomb (A juicy insider account of the cyber madness of the Nineties)
Jack: Straight from the Gut (The global industrial titan paints a word picture of his self)
Next: The Future Just Happened (A mordantly funny exploration of the brave new world spawned by the Internet)
The Anatomy of Buzz (A groundbreaking guide to creating word-of-mouth magic that cuts through skepticism and information overload of today's consumers)
Rebel Code (A high-velocity chronicle of the open-source transformation taking place in the tech world)
The Attention Economy (An engrossing account of the human bandwidth deficiency facing employees in the internet economy)
An Excerpt from "Second Coming of Steve Jobs" (A fascinating, complex potrait of Apple's tech magician)
IBM and the Holocaust
(A powerful expose of IBM's collusion with Nazi Germany)
An Extract from "Pride Before the Fall" (A book on Microsoft's antitrust case)
Home

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer

An un-put-downable book, with a dash of humour, brings us a treat from the author to people who like thinking out of the box. Here is an excerpt from Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close for you to let loose some strings and sit back and enjoy the read!

Extract

WHAT THE?

What about a teakettle? What if the spout opened and closed when the steam came out, so it would become a mouth, and it could whistle pretty melodies, or do Shakespeare, or just crack up with me? I could invent a teakettle that reads in Dad's voice, so I could fall asleep, or maybe a set of kettles that sings the chorus of "Yellow Submarine," which is a song by the Beatles, who I love, because entomology is one of my raisons d'etre, which is a French expression that I know.

Another good thing is that I could train my anus to talk when I farted. If I wanted to be extremely hilarious, I'd train it to say, "Wasn't me!"every time I made an incredibly bad fart. And if I ever made an incredibly bad fart in the Hall of Mirrors, which is in Versailles, which is outside of Paris, which is in France, obviously, my anus would say, "Ce n'etait pas mois!"

What about little microphones? What if everyone swallowed them, and they played the sounds of our hearts through little speakers, which could be in the pouches of our overalls? When you skateboarded down the street at night you could hear everyone's heartbeat, and they could hear yours, sort of like sonar. One weird thing is, I wonder if everyone's hearts would start to beat at the same time, like how women who live together have their menstrual periods at the same time, which I know about, but don't really want to know about. That would be so weird, except that the place in the hospital where babies are born would sound like a crystal chandelier in a houseboat, because the babies wouldn't have had time to match up their heartbeats yet. And at the finish line at the end of the New York City Marathon it would sound like war.

And also, there are so many times when you need to make a quick escape, but humans don't have their own wings, or not yet, anyway, so what about a birdseed shirt?

Anyway.

My first jujitsu class was three-and-a-half months ago. Self-defence was something that I was extremely curious about, for obvious reasons, and Mom thought it would be good for me to have a physical activity besides tambourining, so my first jujitsu class was three-and-a-half months ago. There were fourteen kids in the class, and we all had on neat white robes. We practiced bowing, and then we were all sitting down Native American style, and then Sensei Mark asked me to go over to him. "Kick my privates,"he told me. That made me feel self-conscious. "Excusez-moi?"I told him. He spread his legs and told me, "I want you to kick my privates as hard as you can." He put his hands at his sides, and took a breath in, and closed his eyes, and that's how I knew that actually he meant business. "Jose,"I told him, and inside I was thinking, What the? He told me, "Go on, guy. Destroy my privates." "Destroy your privates?" With his eyes still closed he cracked up a lot and said, "You couldn't destroy my privates if you tried. That's what's going on here. This is a demonstration of the well-trained body's ability to absorb a direct blow. Now destroy my privates." I told him, "I'm a pacifist,"and since most people my age don't know what that means, I turned around and told the others, "I don't think it's right to destroy people's privates. Ever." Sensei Mark said, "Can I ask you something?" I turned back around and told him, "'Can I ask you something?' is asking me something." He said, "Do you have dreams of becoming a jujitsu master?" "No,"I told him, even though I don't have dreams of running the family jewelry business anymore. He said, "Do you want to know how a jujitsu student becomes a jujitsu master?" "I want to know everything,"I told him, even though that isn't true anymore, either. He told me, "A jujitsu student becomes a jujitsu master by destroying his master's privates." I told him, "That's fascinating." My last jujitsu class was three-and-a-half months ago.

I desperately wish I had my tambourine with me now, because even after everything I'm still wearing heavy boots, and sometimes it helps to play a good beat. My most impressive song that I can play on my tambourine is "The Flight of the Bumblebee," by Nicolai Rimsky-Korsakov, which is also the ring tone I downloaded for the cell phone I got after Dad died. It's pretty amazing that I can play "The Flight of the Bumblebee," because you have to hit incredibly fast in parts, and that's extremely hard for me, because I don't really have wrists yet. Ron offered to buy me a five-piece drum set. Money can't buy me love, obviously, but I asked if it would have Zildjan cymbals. He said, "Whatever you want," and then he took my yo-yo off of my desk and started to walk the dog with it. I know he just wanted to be friendly, but it made me incredibly angry. "Yo-yo moi!" I told him, grabbing it back. What I really wanted to tell him was, "You're not my dad, and you never will be."

About the Author:

Jonathan Safran Foer was born in Washington DC to Albert Foer and Esther Safran Foer. He completed his degree from Princeton University and also attended Mount Sinai School of Medicine, but dropped out after a brief stint to pursue the career of writing. He started his writing career by contributing a short story "If the Aging Magician Should Begin to Believe", in 2001, to A Convergence of Birds: Original Fiction and Poetry Inspired by the Work of Joseph Cornell. His first book, Everything Is Illuminated (2002), was an extension of his thesis that he wrote at Princeton which had also won him the Senior Creative Writing Thesis Prize at the University. This book earned won a National Jewish Book Award and a Guardian First Book Award. Also, Liev Schreiber wrote and directed a film adaptation of this novel in 2005.

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, was published in 2005 as Foer's second novel. The novel uses 9/11 in the start and a 9-year-old Oskar Schell, learning how to deal with the demise of his father among the many in the World Trade Center

Jonathan Safran Foer is the author many more short stories and has also written a non-fiction novel named Eating Animals.

Email this article | Respond to this article

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------